How to Always Be Right
There’s a collection of presets in each human’s mind that are fairly deep set and difficult to unwind.
Some of these presets include various beliefs that are also difficult to change once deep rooted, the way we perceive the world and how it is greatly impacted by our emotions, and the need/longing for consistency of the predictable. In short, we form our own representation of reality and “reality” changes from person to person. Not to sound exceedingly idealist-like, but who’s to say one reality is true and merely exists anyways? Just a thought out loud. Over time, though, with my journey to a better self, I’ve learned that challenging these presets is one of the best ways to go about creating better beliefs, perceptions, and habits.
Just as various other words in the English language, challenge has several definitions. There’s one, most think of when hearing the word, that is “a call to take part in a contest or competition, especially a duel*.” With this, it may subconsciously bring about anxiety, fear, and worry. Another definition, that I often attempt to see it as, is that it is to “dispute the truth or validity of*.” As I’ve dug deeper into social psychology, I’ve come to realize that this definition may also bring about negative emotions. There is a specific “I” that each human mind believes one is, and any challenge to this identity is considered putting oneself in danger.
Oftentimes, our beliefs are not our own, they are simply handed down to us from our environment we’ve grown in, this is merely the seed of a belief. As we continue to grow, other environments have impacts on these beliefs and also challenge them without our knowing. Soon, we come to replant these somewhat changed beliefs from the original and cherish them as something precious to us that we oftentimes refuse to let go of. Not only with long-term beliefs, but also if we are told something by someone who we deem as accountable, we believe it and it is far difficult to change this belief back or to open ourselves up to see any other version of the story. These beliefs soon impact our emotions and form the shape of our perceptions.
Whether warped or not, our perceptions determine a great majority of the quality of our lives. What we don’t realize is that there is always, always another way to perceive something. But our emotions oftentimes tell us this to be fictitious. Our emotions are far beyond powerful when it comes to influencing our minds, even further than just perception, but our decisions and choices as well. And if we let them, our emotions can make something fairly insidious of us and our lives. Within the predictable routine, lies the comfort of knowing what we will find and how we will react. This is also where we find the inexorable self.
You know that old saying, “people want to change the world, but they don’t think of changing themselves.” I never understood this until recently; I always saw it as the quote claiming that the person yearning to change the world was the reason the world was inadequate. For years, I thought “how am I making the world a horrid place, I try my best to be a good person…I don’t understand.” Another preset the human mind holds is that it rarely considers the abstract. If you truly believe and see that your life is off the wall terrible, it’s because you hold substandard beliefs that impact your emotions and warp your perception of your reality to be this way.
The only way to detach yourself from this cycle is to challenge them. Maybe, metaphorically take them out on an open battle field and duel, but opening yourself up to the unknown will at most put these deep-rooted presets to the test to be changed. Be open to various ways of thinking and seeing things. Be open to being wrong, even then, it’s not so much as searching to be right, but to be less wrong in perception and in your life as well. Only in the opened and unknown will we be able to accept the rise and fall of challenge and be able to change the quality of our lives. We often take the safe route and push those away that challenge us, but chaos in the unknown of challenge is more so an open door to a better life.
The way to always be right is to paradoxically be open to being wrong by challenging yourself.
Ways to Challenge Yourself:
- Research into topics that oppose what you believe of them. Instead of merely building your belief deeper, challenge it by being open to where you’re wrong. Reading You Are Not So Smart by David McRaney is a great place to start.
- Change up your routine in the most arbitrary way possible.
- Spend time with those you normally wouldn’t or are afraid to.
- Listen more, truly listen and be open to what the other is saying.
- Ask more questions instead of always searching for answers.
- Try something you’ve always wanted to, but feared doing so.
- Ask yourself where you are wrong.
- Ask others why you are wrong. Me and my sister got into an argument one night and it could’ve gone until morning or a few days on if I hadn’t changed the conversation. Instead of telling my sister why she was wrong when she accused me of something, I said “tell me more.” I opened myself up to being wrong, and in return, we were able to get to the root of the problem (we both had a warped perception of the other) and the issue resolved with us becoming closer.
Have you read yesterday’s post?: Read This if You’re Indecisive…or Maybe You Shouldn’t…I Don’t Know | by Vanessa Leanne | Dec, 2021 | Medium
Where to find me: Vanessa Leanne (@vanessa_leannee) • Instagram photos and videos
*Definitions from Oxford Languages